Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
