i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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