What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
