I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize