hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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