no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
