how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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