There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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