Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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