Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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