Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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