The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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