So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
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I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
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I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
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