he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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