Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
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So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
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Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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