so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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