and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
