was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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