so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
