hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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