I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
