My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
