ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
