.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
