so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
