Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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