Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
