Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
