I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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