During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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