So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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