in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
