She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize