I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
