my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I had to cum in my sink.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize