we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Mom said you looked used
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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