Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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