you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
