your parents love me but you hate me
nut hugger
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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