I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
