cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize