Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize