I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
