the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
