Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra