Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome