you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father