Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
