Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
