I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
