I need help removing her.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
