clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize