If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
