whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
