My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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