do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
