Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize