i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
