you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm passing your future prison.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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