That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
