definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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