I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
